Do you ever just stare at the wall and then realize that 2 hours just went by, and you have absolutely no idea where that time went? Since the pandemic, I feel like those moments are happening a lot more often… because they are. Maybe you are bored, don’t have a schedule that you like and have a lack of motivation. Maybe you are not stimulated enough or are overstimulated, or maybe you haven’t had any real social interactions in a while or just completely exhausted. Of course there’s also the constant, underlying anxiety of pandemic still going on and staying safe.

The rational part of your brain is saying: yes, all of this makes sense that you are struggling. But the other part of your brain is throwing rational thoughts to the side and saying: Okay, I know it's hard BUT let's try to figure something out and power through it. Sometimes that works and other times, you just end up more frustrated that you wasted all this time and accomplished nothing. Cue the unhealthy inner dialog “what is wrong with me? Other people can do it. Am I not good enough”?

In the end, you might stop and ask yourself if ”was pushing myself really hard worth it?”Sure, you completed some tasks (half-assed) and could check the boxes. But did you actually FEEL accomplished knowing it wasn’t my best? Not really. You second-guessed everything because you knew you blew through it all, not taking the time to actually correct any mistakes you may have made. Then cue the unhealthy inner dialog again “ Ugh, I can’t believe I made that mistake again I’m such an idiot. Nooooo I didn’t mean to send that. Wow that was so dumb they are going to think I am not good at my job. That is so embarrassing I am going to get called out for that, what is wrong with me???!!!!!). This vicious cycle repeats itself and accomplishes nothing other than playing to low self-esteem.

So how can we break this cycle? You might not like what I am going to say, but I’m going to say it anyway. When you are having those days where you can’t concentrate I want you to stop.

Yes, I said, stop. I know this sounds easier said than done. Sometimes you can’t stop what you are doing and that is the problem. EVERYONE takes breaks and you need them more than anyone to function at your highest capacity. So you may not walk away completely, but you can stop yourself from pushing so hard up that hill to take a few minutes to do something different. Maybe it’s a walk, getting a snack, calling someone to say hello, a meditation breathing exercise, channeling that energy into a workout, or taking a power nap (yes, I did say a nap).

Think of babies and toddlers. They need A LOT of sleep. They need a lot of sleep because they are constantly stimulated (sometimes overstimulated) when they are awake and they need to absorb all that they are taking in. Kids are so smart and absorb the world around them like sponges but just like sponges, they need to be rung out and sit so they can take in all the information and use it next time. We put the kids down to rest because if we don’t, they will likely throw a temper tantrum…and we are not that different.

What we experience when we are overstimulated is a lot of emotional dysregulation. Temper tantrums turn into emotional outbursts, losing patience, making mistakes, getting frustrated, and taking it out on others or yourself. So why don’t we ask ourselves what we need after being completely overwhelmed and overstimulated? Is there really that much shame in taking breaks? Is there a badge of honor for powering through, even if we make mistakes?

Stop what you are doing and OBSERVE what you are FEELING. NOT what you are THINKING.

EXAMPLES:

Observing/Feeling

Name 5 things that you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

Then say what you are FEELING

My heart is beating really fast.
I am jittery.
I am going to burst out into tears at any moment.

Vs. Thinking

I have so much on my plate. I didn’t do enoug.
My thoughts are in so many directions, I don’t know what to start with first.
I’m going to forget something.

When you can acknowledge how you are feeling you can make decisions on what you need to help you out of the situation. “I am feeling my heart beating fast, jittery, and I’m going to cry. So, I am going to do a breathing exercise to help bring down my heart rate”. By taking a few minutes to stop and observe your needs, you can problem-solve in a way that fits you and give yourself permission to do so.

The more you observe, the more you will learn about yourself and what triggers you to feel a certain way. Most importantly, you will learn how to get yourself out of it. These moments of emotional dysregulation will likely happen less and less when you know that after sitting in a two-hour Zoom call that gives you a laundry list of tasks you have to do, you should get up from your desk and go for a walk before you tackle the to-do list.

I can promise you that the more you learn about yourself and your needs you will feel better, more confident, more productive and less likely to stare at the wall for hours on end.

If you need support decompressing then book your free Declutter Your Mind session so we can help you with 1:1 coaching.

Where did the last few hours go?