Been there, done that, got the battle scars to prove it
When people ask me why I want to coach adults with learning disabilities and/or ADHD my response is often “I’ve been there, done that, and got the battle scars to prove it”. It’s true that I don’t have a special education degree and I am not a healthcare professional and although I work with several people who are in those fields I will not pretend to stand in their place. I will be me...Someone who has 30 plus years managing my entire lifetime navigating a world with Learning Disabilities and ADHD. Transitioning from High School to College to working in NYC all while keeping my life in check.
I am very self-aware and incredibly grateful for all of the support I received to get me where I am today. I have a great deal of respect for those who work in special education or in healthcare and I don’t think I would have ever gotten through school without the support. However, the challenge is what worked in school doesn’t apply to life or the workplace and I wished that I had been prepared for that. Those transitions were really difficult and it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me.
I have always openly shared that I have dyslexia and ADHD (I would never ask anyone to do this if they do not feel comfortable) but that didn’t mean I knew how to advocate for myself and my disabilities in this new setting. Examples of situations in the workplace that impacted my disability that I wish I was prepared for.
Knowing what does success look like in practice for me on a day to day and advocating for it
Interviewing knowing that it’s a 2-way street and I could ask questions to help me understand if a job fit MY needs not just the other way around
Office space (in a pre covid world) with open floor plans. I have ADHD and cannot concentrate. How should I have approached these conversations?
Knowing I didn’t need to say yes to everything
How to conduct myself in long meetings when I couldn’t concentrate or being the low man on the totem pole and having to take notes for others and having anxiety that it wasn’t good enough or that I made several spelling and grammar mistakes.
Not knowing that I could take breaks
What to do when your boss drops tasks on your desk at the last minute and you don’t have enough time to proofread/ask questions/follow directions properly.
Any scenario where I had to deal with numbers, statistics, budgets, money, credit cards.
Legal documents or any documents that required a lot of reading
This list goes on and on. The fact that I was not prepared played a VERY large role in my dwindling my mental health. I kept thinking “what is wrong with me” “why is this so hard” “why am I so stressed out” “Is everyone else this burnt out” “Is work supposed to be this hard”. My disabilities were on full display every day and so was my anxiety. “Will I get fired because of X”. I was having several panic attacks on a weekly basis and started on medication (I am no longer on). I was now resorting back to 8 year old me previous to being diagnosed going purely on instincts and resourcefulness just to get by. It was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. But somehow as I climbed the ladders in different organizations I became the one everyone depended on. I just wished it didn’t come at the price of me and that I could have been supported in the way I needed so they could actually see my best work.
I’ve learned over the years that people with LD and/or ADHD are pretty great at learning to adapt, innovate, create, and are incredibly resilient. I’ve seen the big picture and know how to change all the little details to make the day-to-day more manageable in the long run. I have developed great coping skills, self-advocacy skills, and resilience as I maneuvered through a world that is not that accommodating. I have learned many key principles along the way that I feel can help best serve you moving forward. All while coming from a place of empathy and compassion because I’ve been there too.
